Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
