He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
