am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
