im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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