just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
