In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
