Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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