Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
