Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
