This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
