In the future we'll all be gay
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
