i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
try to milk me bitch
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