thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am spending my child support on dildos
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
