she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
