a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
