I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
