he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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