just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
