What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
