You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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