nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
