oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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