wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The power of my boobs compel you
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
