Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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