check it out our google latitudes are spooning
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
