do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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