If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
