I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dear god my vagina.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
