Screwed.edu
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
