Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
