In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she looked like the before picture.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize