I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
