Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
