U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
