I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We need to rekindle our bromance
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
