Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
