I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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