Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
