wakey wakey hands off snakey
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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