p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
