Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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