I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm just crazy horny about you
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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