Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Randomize
