The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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