I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
