Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just want to make out with him forever
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
