i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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