Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
