ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
