I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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